
I cannot begin to describe the insanity that was the New Kids on the Block show from last night. I will however give it my best shot. Believe it or not, the show didn't provide the only entertainment of the evening.
Quick note: I didn't make it to the Imperial War Museum, as the weather was just shit and plus a nap sounded like a much better idea anyways.
So I met Jordan around 6 at the
Shakespeare pub near my flat. We quickly decided that in order to make this evening as complete as possible, we needed to be very drunk before the show started. So we pounded a few pints and then skedaddled to the tube where we headed towards
Hammersmith.
We left the station and rounded the corner to walk towards the venue, and noticed from a distance that there was a very large crowd of late 20's females. Some holding signs. We knew we were in the right place.
Not being properly drunk yet, we stopped off at the only neighborhood pub we could find. This is where the fun began.

Firstly, and I hate that I didn't get a before and after picture, but this place was absolutely PACKED. To the brim, with a ton of late 20's early 30's women. Yep, this was apparently the official
pre-party for
NKOTB.
We sat down, started having some pints, and then I got my first taste of supremely drunk local being a complete dick. We hear glass break, and see some jackass stumbling towards the front (we were sitting close to the front as evidenced by the above photo), breaking beer bottles against the bar. He breaks a few wine glasses on the bar, knocks some bottles of a table, and stumbles out (vomit dripping from his lips). Awesome.
Everyone goes on drinking. Shortly after that, in the middle of a conversation, we suddenly notice how quiet it had gotten. We were the only people left in the bar. Show must have started or is about to start, time to leave!
Not quite yet. We were not in fact the only patrons left ... two very very VERY drunk older British men were there. And of course since we were the only ones, they decided to talk to us.
The one kept referring to his buddy as "you Scottish cock" which we thought was great. He also looked like he had just gotten in a bar fight the night before, fresh cuts on his face. Good guy.
They proceed to alternate between hidden jibes at Americans and outright gushing love for the NFL. The "Scottish cock" actually almost cried a tear over his excitement at the potential of the Arizona Cardinals winning the super bowl.
Once we shed these winners, we made our way to the venue. The time was upon us.
We quickly realized were outnumbered in the gender wars:

Maybe 15 guys there. Maybe. I am fairly certain we were the only ones there of our own accord.
So several pints later, we have to admit, we are pretty excited for what is in store. The whole concept was still ridiculous, there were several "are we seriously about to see this?" thrown around, and neither of us had really seen an extreme live show like that before. I had seen a few elaborate metal shows (Judas Priest and Heaven and Hell come to mind), but nothing that popular in the pop music vein.
My god. The show was ridiculous.
They opened with this really
cheesy video montage of them, things like "15 Years Ago, they parted ways," and "never to sing together again" etc. ... then the lights dropped, and my ears started bleeding from the screaming.

I don't recognize hardly anything, but you would think every song was a Grammy winner based on the crowd's reaction. I just know that the third song I heard was "The Right Stuff", and I myself might have even skipped or jumped a bit.
Overall, the show wasn't half bad, albeit absurd. There was a fair bit of pyrotechnics, dancing girls, and outfit changes. Each member even came out and did a solo bit, probably to let the other aging stars catch their breath.
There seemed to be a fair amount of lip-syncing, but I don't think anyone noticed or cared. There was also quite a bit of
crotch-grabbing, which I don't think the first rendition of
NKOTB could have gotten away with, but I guess their and their fans' maturity have spiraled in opposite directions.
I literally laughed for 2 hours. It was just all too much. They even did the whole bit where they "disappeared" from the stage, only to reappear all David Copperfieldy in the balcony, where they sang a song as they progressed through the crowd back to the stage.
They even had this sad (but hilarious) video that played of fallen artists, Kurt Cobain, Biggie and 2
Pac, Left-Eye, other artists and actors, ending with Heath Ledger. I'm not sure if the point was to honor these artists who probably would have nothing to do with them, or prove that after all these years, they were still standing. I have no idea, and I'm not going to waste any precious brain cells debating it.
Sadly, we had to leave before Step by Step or
Hangin' Tough (needed to catch the tube home), but I think we more than got our share. We still managed to have a couple of more pints before getting in the subway, basking in the glory of the evening.
I leave you with my favorite picture of the evening, which pretty much sums it all up: